when I grow up...

I think in my next life I'd like to have an organic farm. I mean not because it's trendy, but because I don't like to use chemicals. I'm not a big fan. I also have a survival of the fittest type of mentality, so I generally let mother nature tend to my crop - I've watered twice this year - and magically things are still doing well. I'm doing a post on the Indy Star about being neighborly - here I'd just like to talk about my crop and what I wish I could do. See I would love to have a few acres to have a more abundant supply. Of course I'd have more work to do, but I like that kind of work. I don't mind being sweaty and dirty, especially if my dirty hands are holding a basket full of fresh produce. I would also have to let a few things go - I can't exactly justify not cleaning my house at this point when I only have two raised garden beds. (although I try...) I have a girl I know that lives in Montana - she's living a wonderful dream - I'm sure she's laughing when I say this, I envy her garden, her local. Sometimes I tease Ryan and say that if I didn't love my family so much, I'd be willing to draw up the horses and wagon and move to a quiet desolate place. Of course there would have to be a school nearby because homeschooling mom, I am not.

I think about our lives and the time we have here on earth. I wonder if there is enough time to do everything we actually want to do. I think about the question: "What do you want to do when you grow up?" I mean do we really have to do one thing? When I was little I wanted to be a vet. Pretty common amongst animal loving children. Then I had to dissect a frog and just wasn't good at it - I didn't like that aspect of it, so I scrapped the vet plans. Later in life I took drafting and art and thought, I could be an architect. So I went to college for Architecture and opted to be an Urban Planner instead. While I enjoyed that a bit, it still wasn't my calling. I just never could get excited over Comprehensive Plans or Ordinances. I became a mom, (and last I checked I still am) and I do a decent enough job - I love little babies, once they get to 18 months things get a bit hairy and now with school aged through toddler, I am realizing I am really looking forward to the years ahead. I'm not sure why, but I love sitting and talking with Jon, now that we can carry a conversation on about things that are not related to toys or commercials. I look forward to seeing him and Drew and Penny grow. I look forward to their independence and in turn my own. During this time, while being a mom I've done odd jobs - does anyone remember that skit on In Living Color - the show back in the 80's? It was called "Hey, Mon!" and it was about this Jamaican family that had like 20 jobs each just to get by. It always made me laugh - sometimes I feel a bit like that skit. So now I paint and sew, which I enjoy immensely, but I'm not sure its what I'll do for the rest of my life. I've thought about going back to school for nursing or something of that nature, just because I enjoy the caregiver aspect -the potential gore doesn't bother me either. Birthing three kids, caring for my brother during a couple of surgeries and caring for my mother through her death has given me lessons in medical and pharmaceutical care that I never thought I would have. Then there was always the idea of a Lactation consultant. I'm a bit of a breastfeeding nazi, and I will never forget the women I worked with that helped me get it right. The funny thing is, it's almost harder to be come a LC than a nurse - crazy really. One of the things I love about being an adult is not having homework or tests - paper ones anyway, so I'm not sure if going back to school is right for me. In a nut shell, I don't know what I'll do when I grow up. The plan is for me to get a job or push Penny Pickles into a new dimension, when Penny is in school full time - I still have three years. Perhaps I'll start off slow - a lucrative career in substitute teaching perhaps? Perhaps I'll fall into a bunch of money and open that farm after all. We shall see...

Well this post certainly took a turn, eh? I suppose its a good thing I'm not doing the same thing all the time - I'm a bit of a restless soul that way. I think about my dad who did his job for 30 some years, and Ryan who desperately wants to find a job where he can hang his hat. I sort of just want to toss my hat in the corner and pick it up and move it from time to time. I am fortunate and blessed to have that opportunity. I am fortunate and blessed that my husband is cool with it all. Now don't get me wrong - I'm not a flitter. Each job I've had, has ended for a variety of valid reasons, birth, sickness, death, etc. you get the point. Each of those moments has led me to my next place. So I suppose it is all meant to be, I just try to stay open to the possibilities.

For now I paint and from time to time sew. I kind of like the idea of being that cool mom and later grandma that always has dirt under her nails from her garden and paint splatter on her hands, arms and clothes. Okay maybe that isn't your idea of cool - but its mine. Alright, I have a billion things to do today and my morning is slowly ticking away. Thanks for hanging in there while I blabber - maybe you didn't and you aren't reading this now, in any case, Thanks!