Lying and why Santa can be a bit of a jerk

I'm a fan of lying to my kids- I am. I know some people who are totally against this practice. To you I say, FOOLS! There is a narrow window in their little lives when I can tell them things and they will rarely question me. Now let me preface all of this, I don't lie about really important stuff. If they do something wrong, I reprimand and explain consequences, when my mom was sick and dying, I explained it in a way they could understand, but I didn't sugarcoat, so when I say I lie, I mean about lighthearted things. Santa, Easter Bunny, St. Nick, the tooth fairy - these are all the fodder of my lies. Recently Jon has been questioning Santa a bit, not really questioning, but telling me about a handful of kids he knows that don't believe. This really took me a back because I really thought we would have more time with no questions. It's unfortunate because these kids he's encountering honestly live harder lives than they should at their age. They don't celebrate Santa, not for religious reasons, but because mom or dad can't be bothered. I saddens me and then it angers me because it steals the magic from us. Jon is a pretty straightforward kid so when he tells me so and so doesn't believe, I say "that's too bad, because when you stop believing Santa stops delivering and mom and dad have to pick up the slack." That seems to suffice for now. I am pretty sure that if this wasn't the last year, next year will be. While I am comfortable lying - even I have my line in the sand. If Jon point blank asked me, I would have to tell him the truth. So I guess I'm not exactly lying, I'm just embellishing and avoiding the truth.

I came up with a new lie this year that seemed to benefit us tremendously. My children are early risers, I am not, so Christmas morning can be excruciating for me. Last year it was 5:30 - which is no easy feat when you go to bed at midnight and then are expected to host, cook and smile all Christmas day. So I decided to tell my children this little gem. Santa may deliver the presents after midnight, but they are still magical and if you get out of bed before 7 a.m. then the presents will disappear. At 6:57, Drew had to go to the bathroom - I hear Jon quietly yell - "No Drew it isn't 7 yet! They'll disappear!!!" [Drew] "Jon, I have to PEE!" We hear Drew run to the bathroom and he was in there for a bit and then we hear Jon - "It's okay Drew, come out now" and they ran to the living room and then back to our room to get us up. GENIUS!

I heard another one - that I plan on using next year, this one is really good - one mom told her kids that the individuals at the end of the registers (like at Target or Kohl's or Walmart) are actually elves and their headsets were connected to the North Pole and they reported bad boys and girls who acted up in line. Apparently this set her kids straight and they were angels on the look out for elves at all of the stores they entered. Once again- GENIUS!

Here's why Santa is a jerk. So when Ryan and I had our first Christmas we decided that we would only get one gift and a few stocking stuffers from Santa. We then would buy a game for the family to play and a couple of books and one toy from us. We didn't want to overdo it for Christmas because eventually we'd like to take family vacations instead of presents and my parents have always picked up the slack. So my children will sit on Santa's lap and tell him the one thing they want and every damn year the fat bastard says "only one toy?" "what else do you like - or how about I get you x. y or z" I suppose these mall Santa's are used to kids that come in with a laundry list of items they want. We don't do that - you ask for one thing - you always get that one thing. It has worked out marvelously for the duration of our family. So this year we saw a very nice, very authentic looking Santa. The kids warmed up to him quickly and they each took turns on his lap. Penny was easy, but pulled a last minute switch (see below). Drew - he kept it general - Harry Potter legos. Then it was Jon's turn, he told Santa he wanted Harry Potter, Chamber of Secrets Lego set - Santa then said, "Is that all? Do you like transformers? How about Optimus Prime?" Jon looked at him and said "Sure" I mean if Santa was offering, you don't want to be rude, right? So on Christmas morning Jon was excited, but had a bit of a puss - so I asked what was wrong. He said that Santa didn't get him an Optimus Prime. I told him that the Santa we saw was probably his cousin (because mall Santa's are either an elf or a cousin) and he's used to greedy kids, so someone who comes in with one thing is unusual -but that we don't need to ask for more than what we need. That seemed to suffice and he purchased a new Optimus with his gift card money from my dad. All is right with the world.

I get particularly frustrated with Santa because this has happened to us two other times now - first when Jon was three he wanted a Buzz Lightyear - then last minute he pulled a quarterback sneak and wanted a "Blue Buzz" which of course was more expensive and I already had the regular Buzz. But when your kid asked for one thing, you kind of need to deliver. Then this year we struggled with what to get Penny, I mean she loves Dora and we have everything Dora and Diego from the boys. She loves puppies, but we've reached our quota of stuffed animals, she loves horses, but ditto on the stuffed version and figures. The only thing we could think of is American Girl stuff - but her birthday is in February and we're planning a trip north the store to celebrate her day (mostly because my mom made me promise I would take her to the store for her third birthday - I can't break that promise). So what to get? We were lucky, one of my closest friends has kids the exact age of my own - only opposite sex - they had an extra Leapster in pink that they didn't use anymore - so she gave it and the backpack to me - all I needed to do is get a few games. Great! We did that and we were good to go and then Penny tells Santa she wants a Mermaid Barbie. Then she starts telling EVERYONE she wants a Mermaid Barbie - so on the 23rd at 10pm I went to Walmart with the rest of the nut jobs and bought a Mermaid Barbie to go with her Leapster. Once again all is right with the world.

I think it was a great Christmas - I know I enjoyed it - I'm pooped from all the prep, but happy because everything seemed to like their gifts, enjoy the time together and embrace the season. It's all over, so much work and thought - there is a definite sense of relief and I am looking forward to the winter season. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday - take care and thanks!