fun with kids who read

This weekend Jon had an away swim meet. It was in Crawfordsville, far enough away to make it a day event, not far enough to get a hotel. So we decided as a family that I would take Jon both days so Ryan could do some much needed work around here, as well as spend some time with our other two. Swim meets are awful for younger siblings - their long, hot and boring (unless your kids is swimming). So we don't like to subject them to it very often, because it is painful to entertain them for the five hours as you sit in the overcrowded stands. When you are by yourself with an able-bodied child, it's actually a get away. I just needed two seats, which is way easier to find than five. I could read, I started and finished the book, The Color Purple and best of all, I was able to relax and not worry about entertaining anyone. So needless to say I was happy to be the one doing the driving and the swim meet this weekend.

On our way to Crawfordsville, Jon and I needed to go to the bathroom, so we stopped at a small gas station right outside of town. They had a small unisex bathroom so we went in together. Jon was thinking about doing some business, so I thought I'd come in for back up, plus my mug of coffee kicked in and needed out. So we're standing there, Jon going to the bathroom and me trying not to touch anything and then Jon started to read. I noticed when we came in a dispenser over the toilet and figured it was for pads and tampons. Then he said, "ul-tra th-in" "six different kinds of please-sure" - "mom, what are con-" Okay - as I grabbed him I covered his ears, no, then I covered his eyes and said, "don't you need to poop?" and spun him around and plopped him on the toilet. He said, "no mom, I don't" " mom, what are those things for?"

Well now shit, I don't want to have the condom talk with my 7 year old in the middle of a crappy bathroom in a gas station in Crawfordsville. I mean really, this wasn't even a truck stop. Do they get so many requests or sell out on the racks so much that they needed to install a dispenser? It makes me wonder about Crawfordsville. Ugh, okay here it goes:

Me -" No, Jon those are things for men."

Jon- "do I need them?"

me- "no, they are for big men."

Jon- "so does dad need them?"

me- "no, daddy doesn't need them."

Jon- "why are they selling them here?"

me- "it's like those machines that sell pads or tampons when women need them"

Jon- "so do you need some?"

Me"NO!"

Jon- "so what are con-"

Me- "damn it Jon wash your hands and lets go we're going to be late to the swim meet!"

Jon- "we're going to be late?? well lets go mom!"

And we were done. If there is one thing I can count on is that my son is fairly neurotic so if I tell him we're going to be late or miss something, he will switch gears immediately. Good heavens, seriously if you are driving to Crawfordsville and your child that is of reading age needs to go to the bathroom do NOT, I repeat DO NOT stop at the Circle K on 47. Pee on the road, pee in the bushes, but for the love of all things holy don't go in the bathroom or you too will have to have a version of the condom talk with your child. It isn't something I recommend.

Thanks!

On a lighter note, Jon did great at the swim meet and PR'd in three of his four events and managed to finish the 25 breast stroke without dying. It was a good, good weekend.